What NOT to do in Amsterdam

[Marco]

I've got one for this list. Make sure you don't enter the tram through one of the exit doors. Always enter through the door by the driver or the other door by the conductors booth. It really wasn't my fault, everyone was getting off and the little doors with the do not enter symbol were pushed out so I couldn't see them. The driver was not happy and proceeded to chew my friend and I out in a mixture of dutch and english. I guess he thought we were trying to sneak on without paying, which wasn't the case, we both had our cards and had swiped them on entering. We definitely got a lot of dirty looks from the other people on the tram though... "You do not recognize the international ******* symbol for do not enter!?"

Its funny, that happens all the time. But when its really crowded during rush hour people often get in on the end with no problem.

[pengaldinho]

I've got one for this list. Make sure you don't enter the tram through one of the exit doors. Always enter through the door by the driver or the other door by the conductors booth. It really wasn't my fault, everyone was getting off and the little doors with the do not enter symbol were pushed out so I couldn't see them. The driver was not happy and proceeded to chew my friend and I out in a mixture of dutch and english. I guess he thought we were trying to sneak on without paying, which wasn't the case, we both had our cards and had swiped them on entering. We definitely got a lot of dirty looks from the other people on the tram though... "You do not recognize the international ******* symbol for do not enter!?"

This happened to me the other day on the 7. It was really busy, so when I saw two Dutch women got on at the off doors I followed them,beeping my card and sat down. Wrong move. Small ticket lady comes over like a bat out of hell and goes ape shit at me and one of my friends and we get up and re beep our tickets. I don’t know why she didn’t tell my other mates or the Dutch women to swipe their cards again. I wont do anything wrong on her tram again.

[xxbkrawkxx]

do not respond to marrocan people whispering u stuff bout cocaina and whut not in alleys

do not piss everywhere you like

do not smoke tabacco at greyareaz

[CannaSir]

If an adult in your party gets separated from the group, DO NOT go to the police to report them missing after just 3 hours unless you want to waste police time and / or have them piss themselves laughing at you!! (24hrs would be the minimum they would start taking action!)

DO NOT walk even near-ish to the 'windows' right near the Oude Kerk unless you want to be scared witless by the LordOfTheRings faces whose owners wave at you, beckoning you 'in'....GULP!

DO NOT hand over anything BUT the EXACT amount of money in payment for anything at Dampkring Haarleemmerstraat, assuming you insist on going there at all.

DO NOT wear sunglasses OR a hat of ANY kind in same Dampkring - (easier to just not go there at all - other places sell better gear anyway).

DO NOT leave your table covered in the aftermath of your session. Tidy it up into the ashtray at least before you leave.

DO NOT expect an unwaveringly sane and/or friendly response from budtenders generally - they are human and so subject to all the vagaries of human nature AND they are often stoned off their heads. DO go out of your way to be civil and considerate to them and they will almost always return in like manner.

DO NOT eat ANY, and I mean ANY of the cute little furry kitties you find in so many coffeeshops!

[Willjay]

Take your spoon out of the cup, you don't want to poke your eye out with a whitey

[cattales1960]

Take your spoon out of the cup, you don't want to poke your eye out with a whitey

LOL thats funny willjay!

DO not use your cellphone in most coffeeshops. If you need to make an emergency call, ask the budtender first.

[Boner]

DO not use your cellphone in most coffeeshops. If you need to make an emergency call, ask the budtender first.

Or just go outside?

[cattales1960]

DO not use your cellphone in most coffeeshops. If you need to make an emergency call, ask the budtender first.

Or just go outside?

LOL true.

[TwoCanucks]

Don't buy 1 gram when 3 will do.

Don't start rolling a spliff unless you plan on smoking it to the end.

Don't think you'll get everything into your day that you planned in advance.

Don't settle for less than you feel appropriate... this goes for anything.


Also -- I use my cell in coffeeshops all the time... is there some rule I don't know about?

[cattales1960]

Don't buy 1 gram when 3 will do.

Don't start rolling a spliff unless you plan on smoking it to the end.

Don't think you'll get everything into your day that you planned in advance.

Don't settle for less than you feel appropriate... this goes for anything.


Also -- I use my cell in coffeeshops all the time... is there some rule I don't know about?

At the front door of alot of shops there is a no cell phone use sign. Maybe its one of them rules they overlook? I just like to obey rules esp when I am in other countries.

[Arsonist]

Don't start rolling a joint* unless you plan on smoking it to the end.

[chillers2]

DO NOT exit central station by the back doors, (you will have a long frustrating walk all the way round)....

DO NOT wear high heels (ladies) they dont go down well with the cobblestones....

DO NOT put your feet up on the chairs in the coffeeshops....

DO NOT " go back a bit more " when your mates laughing her ass off taking a pic of you (shes probably trying to make you fall in the canal)....

DO NOT go for a little sightseeing trek, alone, with no phone, no map, in your last hour before leaving the dam, you may too have a panic attack....

DO NOT wear flip-flops, while raining, when coming out of a coffeeshop, stoned as hell, and slip over, on all 4's, and laugh so hard you cant get up while your "mates" are getting their cameras out....

[Adamster]

Do not Bring your attitude < iv seem so many ppl acting like they own the town and think they can do what they want!!
Do not Drink beer on the street in mid-day unless you like to get tickets..also seen alot of them
Do not think cause your in amsterdam that you can smoke freely on the streets un less you like cops and tickets and whit the attitude end up in jail!! < also just like the other Do not see it alot and mostly american Black yo-yo"s
Do not go flashing all the money you have for your trip to ppl you dont rely know < like this idiot i meet few years ago in a hostel < again an america thinking he was invincible go robb by two guys whom was in same room then us the night b4 .... he then got robbed 2 time in belgium on a weekend trip (funny stuff tell ya)
Do not piss any where you want you Cheap M***F*** paid the 35-50euro cents or find a pissing hole to prevent getting screamed at by dutch ppl or un less you like to pay tickets ...
Do not pass the joint to strangers you ever heard of STD"s?
Do not Bring drugs back on you or in your bags ....un less you like jail

[Lion King]

Do not miss out on the dutch and belgian beers in the brown cafes. order a small beer/ vaasje. pint=tourist.
Do not drink jenevar/local gin. wasted a day in bed with the worst hangover ever. Tastes ok but hits you like a hammer and gives you a bad headache the next day.
Do not wear a feyenoord shirt. Ive seen people wearing english and spanish club shirts with no problems but never feyenoord. if you do dont except good service

[USbongLord]

do not fall in the canal,you will be impaled on a rusty bike part
do not try to ride the tram tracks on yer scooter,some of em take you to a real bad place with no way to escape..lol
do not slam yer bag down when ya have a 2 foot bong in it
do not know charley,if ya do yer gonna have to deal with a pushy street dealer and the yer gonna have to drop his ass in the alley (hope he woke up)
do not eat too many oliiebollins
do not do the safety dance thru the crowd of cops in dam square,they arent amused(well they were,but they couldnt act like it)
do not eat anything with sprouts in it
do not eat febo after 11 pm
do not miss a chance to visit,basjoe,voyagers,and the uke boutique they have funny little guitars there
do not get caught in the bathroom having sex
do not eat the free hotel breakfast unless you hate yer teeth
do not miss november,its somtin else