Amsterdam Coffeeshop Directory Forums

Let's share some of our less-than-ideal Amsterdam experiences. Perhaps we call all learn a little something.

Some of mine...

For anyone not used to riding trains - if you purchase a second-class ticket, DO NOT settle in a train car with a number 1 displayed inside or outside. Those are first-class cars and you will be given 'the business' should you run across a ticket checker.

If you visit the La Vie gentlemen's club at the end of the dead-end alley behind the Oude Kerk, DO NOT walk right in and sit down on the red velvet stools to the left unless you are there for a €10 lap dance, which amazingly ends up at €20. I've seen it happen. Not sure if there was any touching done to raise the price, but if there was, SHE initiated it. Most guys were standing along the wall like schoolboys at a dance, just watching and giggling.

DO NOT touch any budtender's buds without first asking permission.

DO NOT walk like a mindless fuck in the bicycle lanes. You WILL be zinged. Possibly injured.

Don't take picture of the whores

DO NOT smoke on an empty stomach
whiteys are not that fun

DO NOT trust anybody (especially budtenders for weighting/giving change)

DO NOT eat at Mc Donalds or KFC, there is plenty of cheaper and nicer food!

this statement counts for life in general but especially for AMSTERDAM

Don't fall down holes in the street. Don't forget to put water in your Bong. Do not pass a Profferja stand without buying some.

DjShaggy wrote:DO NOT eat at Mc Donalds or KFC, there is plenty of cheaper and nicer food!

this statement counts for life in general but especially for AMSTERDAM

They're both far better in Amsterdam than the UK though, the hot & spicy chicken (KFC) is so fucking nice.

Don't bother with tourist trap anything, be it coffeeshops, bars or restaurants.

Boner wrote:

DjShaggy wrote:DO NOT eat at Mc Donalds or KFC, there is plenty of cheaper and nicer food!

this statement counts for life in general but especially for AMSTERDAM

They're both far better in Amsterdam than the UK though, the hot & spicy chicken (KFC) is so fucking nice.

Don't bother with tourist trap anything, be it coffeeshops, bars or restaurants.

kfc not my thing but im told its better, the mcdonalds on damrak is grim imo

I've never been in the McD's on Damrak, I usually only have whatevers exclusive to holland like the mckrocket or the stroopwafel ice cream so I can't truly compare them to home.

Do NOT fall into a canal, any canal, regardless of how many times they are "flushed" per day.
If you happen to fall in, don't confuse your current predicament with Caddy Shack - that floaty ain't no Baby Ruth.

Do NOT assume that all Dutch are tolerant of Cannabis.
Goes a long way to explaining why one shouldn't light up wherever one pleases.

Do NOT assume anything.
A life lesson.

Happy Trails...

Do not bring luggage with wheels, it is incompatible with the Cobblestones
Do not get drunk and piss into the canal as many formerly drunk and alive tourist would attest if they didn't already kill themselves
When in the RLD, beware the 'ladies' in blue lit windows, they're sporting something 'extra' downstairs.
When you buy an iAmsterdam pass, don't lose it within the first 45 minutes like I did
Don't be too timid to trip in Amsterdam, in spite of the winding streets, foriegn languages and nearly incomprehensible street signs, this is probably the 'easiest' place to trip in the world
Don't forget to tip for good service, especially bud tenders

DO NOT fall into a canal was my alltime fav.

DO NOT answer with yes if anybody ask you to buy something. Never if anybody ask you in the RLD.

DO NOT think all dutch people like overstoned idiots

DO NOT buy more if you could smoke in the days your over

DO NOT think that all coffeeshops doing good business over there

DO NOT get lost without a map and a card of your hotel..


If you kept all these things in your mind, you will have a great time

I've got one for this list. Make sure you don't enter the tram through one of the exit doors. Always enter through the door by the driver or the other door by the conductors booth. It really wasn't my fault, everyone was getting off and the little doors with the do not enter symbol were pushed out so I couldn't see them. The driver was not happy and proceeded to chew my friend and I out in a mixture of dutch and english. I guess he thought we were trying to sneak on without paying, which wasn't the case, we both had our cards and had swiped them on entering. We definitely got a lot of dirty looks from the other people on the tram though... "You do not recognize the international ******* symbol for do not enter!?"